Zeros

He Turned a Raid Into a Revolution Afroman walked into an Ohio courtroom in an American flag suit and walked out with a verdict for all of us. You probably remember Because I Got High . It was 2001, and it was everywhere; yes, it was ridiculous. That was the point . Joseph Foreman — who recorded that song under the name Afroman — has always understood that turning life's messy moments into music is one of the most American things a person can do. Last week, an Ohio jury agreed with him. Loudly . Here's what happened. Back in August 2022, deputies from the Adams County Sheriff's Department showed up at Afroman's home in Winchester , Ohio with a warrant. They were supposedly chasing evidence of drug trafficking and kidnapping — including, improbably, rumors of a basement dungeon . They busted down his front door, rifled through his clothes, searched his shoes, and spent hours turning the place upside down. They found no dungeon . They filed no charges . ...

So About That OSU-Michigan Game... Look , I'm not mad about it. I'm just disappointed. Actually, no— I'm tired . Because here we are on Sunday, still reading about a game that happened yesterday, and for what? Because someone on your fantasy roster happened to be breathing near a football field in Ann Arbor  while Juventus was playing at the exact same time?  Priorities, folks . But let's talk about it . Ohio State won 27-9, which is both exactly what the spread predicted and somehow still felt like watching paint dry. And yet, there was literally a snowstorm. This is The Game™ , where weather becomes a character and everyone pretends they know what Hang On Sloopy  is really about. (Spoiler alert: you don't , but the people doing snow angels on the field afterward definitely have an opinion.) The Buckeyes snapped their four-game losing streak to Michigan , which—if you've been paying attention to college football, and let's be honest, you hav...

Breaking : Travis Kelce Has Opinions About Amusement Parks (And Possibly Buckeyes) Look, we need to talk about Travis Kelce . Not Taylor Swift's fiancé Travis Kelce—though yes, that Travis Kelce—but Travis Kelce, the grown man from Cleveland Heights who has actual investments and business interests and probably thoughts about roller coaster maintenance. For those keeping score at home, Kelce is reportedly an investor in a company that owns Cedar Point , the amusement park in Sandusky that Ohioans will defend with their lives despite the fact that it's basically just a peninsula of screaming and overpriced funnel cakes. This is the same Cedar Point that every Ohio child visited exactly once on a school field trip and then never stopped talking about. You know, the one with the Millennium Force ? The tall one? Look, Ohioans are very passionate about their roller coasters, okay ? But here's where things get delightfully awkward. Picture this : Tayl...

School Communication Device Restrictions: A Complex Security Debate The 2025-2026 school year has brought sweeping changes to student device policies across multiple states. Ohio now requires all school districts to adopt policies prohibiting cell phone use during instructional time by January 1, 2026, while New York has become the largest state to implement statewide bell-to-bell smartphone restrictions in K-12 schools. NYC Public Schools has expanded its ban to include internet-enabled devices such as tablets and smartwatches. These policies emerge during a period of heightened concern about school safety and emergency communication . The debate centers on a fundamental question: How do schools balance educational focus with emergency preparedness and family communication needs? The Emergency Communication Perspective Parents and students raise legitimate concerns about device restrictions in light of ongoing security challenges in educational environme...