Zeros

Freedom 2026: The Real COVID Babies Graduate! The high school graduating class of 2026 has finally arrived at the finish line. Four years of classes, dances, exams, social media drama , and approximately seventeen thousand warnings that, "these are the most important years of your life." But let's be honest. This class is different. These are the real COVID babies. Not the toddlers who learned to identify hand sanitizer before they learned colors. Not the college students who spent one semester attending economics lectures in pajama pants. No, the Class of 2026 entered adolescence just as the world collectively decided to become a science experiment . One minute they were in middle school. The next minute, they were staring at teachers frozen on Zoom screens while somebody's dog barked into a microphone and somebody else's little brother wandered into the background, dressed like a pirate. They were told they were living through history. Then they wer...

There are many ways to measure success in America: chart positions, streaming numbers, the ability to get a table without a reservation . And then there’s the quieter metric—claiming credit for things you had absolutely nothing to do with. In that category, the mafia may be having a moment. Recent headlines tell us that John Gotti’s grandson managed to swipe about $1 million in COVID relief funds, which is less a heist and more a nostalgic tribute act. While the rest of us were baking sourdough and figuring out how to unmute ourselves on video calls, someone out there was apparently thinking, “You know what this crisis needs? A callback.” And like any good comeback tour, it doesn’t stop with one hit. If you listen closely— preferably in a dimly lit back room with a plate of something marinara —you can almost hear the broader claim being made: that the mafia, yes, that mafia, had a hand in the whole pandemic situation . Not just the relief funds. The whole thing. It’s a ...