Zeros

Come On Down! Getting You Approved to Have Your Own Money Somewhere in a windowless compliance office , a worker bee is denying your withdrawal because you answered occasional instead of recreational on a survey about your relationship with money . This is not a metaphor. This is Saturday . Welcome to the game show nobody remembers entering: Come On Down,  You're the Next Contestant to Earn the Same Five Dollars in Bitcoin Three Times Before You Can Keep It! The rules , as best I can reconstruct them from three faucet apps, and a support ticket that has been under review since spring , are as follows: first, prove you are a real person by uploading a photograph of your own face next to a handwritten note bearing today's date, like a hostage . Second , complete a quiz measuring your risk tolerance , which is somehow always scored in a way that makes you sound like you're about to wire your savings to a Nigerian prince. Third, wait . Fourth, do it all again ...