Zeros

Punxsutawney Phil's Grammy Nightmare: Six More Weeks of Bureaucratic Chaos The Crypto.com Arena lights dimmed as America's most famous groundhog adjusted his tiny tuxedo and squinted at the teleprompter. Punxsutawney Phil , fresh off his February 2nd predictions, had somehow landed the hosting gig for the Grammy Awards, and nobody— least of all Phil —knew how this happened. "Ladies and gentlemen," Phil chittered into the microphone, standing on a stack of Album of the Year statuettes, "I regret to inform you that I saw my shadow backstage. This means six more weeks until construction on the White House ballroom can continue." The audience of aging pop music fans exchanged confused glances. Sting leaned over to Sheryl Crow and whispered, "Did we miss a memo?" But Phil was already gesturing wildly at a PowerPoint presentation showing architectural blueprints, and what appeared to be a burrow system beneath the East Wing . "Further...