🌟It's a Long Way to the Top If You Wanna Rock and Roll⛄️
So my husband got his Christmas bonus last week. You know what happened next, right? Of course you do.
There's now a 65-inch television mounted in our living room.
Did I think maybe—just maybe—we'd have a conversation about it first? Perhaps discuss whether we needed a new TV (we did), or if there were other priorities for that money? Sure, I had that thought. For about thirty seconds. Then I remembered who I married.
To be fair, Black Friday TV deals are genuinely good right now. He showed me the price comparison charts. He had tabs open. There was research involved, which I suppose counts for something. And yes, the old TV was from 2010 and was actually one of those extra-large tablets... But it worked. It turned on. It displayed images. (Now I use it to mine ZeroCoin, of course.)
Apparently, that's not the bar we're clearing anymore.
Here's the thing though—and I'm somewhat annoyed to admit this—the screensavers are actually beautiful. When the TV's not in use, it cycles through art museum collections and nature photography. Our living room now features a rotating gallery of the Northern Lights, Japanese gardens, and Monet paintings. It's like living in a very expensive digital picture frame that also plays sports.
I've caught myself just standing there, watching koi swim across the screen. So fine. He gets one point for that.
But then there's the volume. The previous TV had simple controls: up, down, mute. This new one has approximately forty-seven sound settings. Cinema mode. Game mode. Voice enhancement. Night mode. Surround sound virtualization. My husband has adjusted each one at least twice.
The result? Every show starts at a whisper and then SUDDENLY EXPLODES during commercials. I've heard our neighbors sneeze during quiet dialogue scenes, and then gotten jump-scared by a car insurance ad. He keeps saying he'll dial it in. It's been a week. I'm losing faith.
Maybe in other families, Christmas bonuses go toward sensible things. Maybe they discuss joint financial decisions around the kitchen table. Maybe they comparison shop together and arrive at mutual conclusions.
We are not that family.
We are the family where the bonus appears on a Friday and the TV is mounted by Sunday. Where I come home from a doctor's appointment to find new electronics and a spouse who's very excited to show me refresh rates.
Look, if you're shopping for Christmas gifts this year, or if you're the one eyeing those Black Friday TV deals, just know: you're not alone. Bonuses have a way of burning holes in pockets, and electronics stores know exactly what they're doing with those sale prices.
Is it what I would have chosen? No. Do I secretly enjoy the ambient fireplace screensaver on cold evenings? Maybe. Will I ever admit that to him? Absolutely not.
The TV stays. The volume saga continues. And next year's bonus? We're having that conversation in advance.
Well, I'm planning to have that conversation.
We'll see.
