☀️ Evidence the Boys of Summer Have Gone 📚

Finding Your New Main Character Era: A Guide to Empty Nesting with Grace

As another school year kicks off and social media fills with dorm room setups and first-day-of-senior-year photos, many of us are quietly sitting in houses that feel a little too clean, a little too quiet. If you're reading this while your coffee grows cold in a mug that no one will accidentally steal, welcome to the club no one really prepares you for: the empty nesters.

I'm here with you. My son is navigating his junior year of college—his dorm room probably looks like a Supreme drop mixed with soda pop cans and textbooks he swears he's reading. My daughter, a high school senior, has essentially moved herself into my in-laws' house, drawn there by better WiFi and... literally everything else.

The thing about raising intensely individualistic kids—the ones who've been marching to their own beat since they could walk—is that when they finally spread their wings, they really fly. These aren't the children who call twice a day or come home every weekend with laundry. These are the kids who taught themselves TikTok dances, chose their own aesthetic, and definitely know more about sustainable fashion than we do. They were born to fly solo, and honestly? We wish we'd taken more pictures, proving that once upon a time they needed us.

But here's what I wish someone had told me: becoming an empty nester isn't about losing your purpose—it's about entering your main character era. Remember when we were their age and every story was about us? Well, plot twist: it's our turn again.

Think of it like updating your phone's operating system. All your core functions are still there, but now you've got new features to explore. That mental bandwidth previously dedicated to tracking permission slips and monitoring screen time? It's been freed up for you. The energy you spent mediating sibling arguments or shuttling between activities? Available for redistribution.

This transition feels different when you raised kids who are natural-born individuals. They didn't need us to teach them independence—they were born with it coded into their DNA. What we taught them was how to channel that independence responsibly, how to trust their instincts while still being kind humans. And now they're out there doing exactly that, probably better than we imagined.

Yes, the house feels different. You'll catch yourself buying too much food or setting out an extra plate. The group chat might go hours without a response, and their location sharing will show them living their best lives in places you've never been.

But here's the beautiful part: you get to discover who you are when you're not actively parenting. You get to lean into hobbies that don't involve driving anyone anywhere. You can watch entire Netflix series without someone judging your choices or asking to use the TV. You can eat dinner at 9 PM or have cereal for dinner without anyone questioning your life choices.

Your intensely individualistic kids are out there becoming exactly who they're meant to be. Now it's your turn to do the same. Welcome to your main character era—the sequel you didn't know you wanted.